Well I made it back to the hospital on a planned admission but things aren’t going exactly as planned. I was supposed to start my next chemo today, but over the last two nights my fevers started going up again – way up to over 104. During the day, they were fine. So they decided to admit me with the idea of running a bunch a tests, loading me with up with more antibiotics and starting chemo on Friday. Today, they wouldn’t let me have Advil on my “schedule” because they wanted to wait to see what my fever would go up to on its own. It was up to 102.9 before I got any.

I’m stuck somewhere between being happy that they’re looking for other issues that may be causing these fevers and finally figuring something out and total frustration and fear that I will have fevers for the rest of my life. The irony in all of this is that I got great news from last week’s bone marrow biopsy – I am still completely in remission and things look good. I never expected that fighting leukemia would turn into this. I am trying to stay positive, I really am.

Regardless, there is some comfort in being back on 8 West with so many familiar faces. Your nurses become like family. I know I missed seeing Dan and his wife today – sorry Dan, would have loved to meet you in person! I didn’t even come in until 12:30 today. I heard you look great!

I’m determined not to let any of this get in the way of my fight. I’m coming at this the same way I did the first chemo treatment, Supergirl all the way and no looking back. Sad part is, I miss the kids already!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, which is a good thing because it means I’ve been busy doing other things besides dealing with fevers. The big news is, of course, that I go back to the hospital tomorrow for my “mobilization chemo.” It is a short 5 days of chemo and, in theory, I would come home after that but we will have to see how my liver infection responds to my immune system bottoming out and watch out for any other infections that want to rear their ugly head. I’m honestly not worried about anything new but I am a little concerned about how the liver infection will respond. Hopefully, since I will stay on medications for that, everything will be okay. The other big challenge will be my fevers. Some chemos cause fevers so with mine being higher than normal already, I could be in for a miserable couple of weeks. Should that happen, I’ll be glad to be at the hospital where they can help me with cooling blankets and cortisone shots. Not ideal, but if it has to happen I would rather be there than at home. Again though, let’s keep our fingers-crossed that all goes smoothly.

These past few days have been great – and productive. I’ve got the kids all ready for school, with some help from Phaedra I’ve organized quite a few things in my house and, most importantly I got to see some friends and do things with the kids. Although I’m going into this next chemo weaker than the first one, being home for a few weeks has re-energized me and I’m feeling motivated to go kick some chemo butt.

More tomorrow from the hospital …

We made it to Dutch Wonderland today only to have it start pouring after 3 or 4 rides. We decided to head home early and got rain-date tickets to go again. Although the weather was a disappointment, we all still had fun. Both boys were surprised by the whole adventure and had a good time. I left soaked but happy that I got to take them, even for a short time. I went with Holly and her kids and she was kind enough to take both kids home with her afterwards so I could rest. Unfortunately, drinking a cup of Starbucks for the first time in month made it difficult for me to nap. After this blog, I’ll give it 5 minutes before I pass out on the couch.

I also want to thank Rich and Terry, our neighbors and parents of one of Ty’s good friends, for watching the boys on numerous occasions when we couldn’t quite make it home on time. I feel like there are so many people that have helped out and I don’t want to forget anyone.

This weekend brings an afternoon at Lowe’s to pick out bathroom fixtures. Yes, we decided to remodel our master bath in the midst of all of this. I know it sounds crazy, but I get to go to the hospital and come home to a new bathroom. What could be better than that? Ty’s soccer practice and Kieran’s 2nd birthday are also big highlights. Again, I’m savoring every moment before I get whisked away again. If there is one word of advice I will continue to give, it is to never take advantage of the little moments. There is nothing better than when Kieran rubs my fuzzy head and laughs or Ty makes funny faces with me. I’m off to hang out with Ty. More later.

Today I spent the entire day at the hospital getting both a bone marrow biopsy and a red blood transfusion because I was very anemic from the medication I am on. All in all things are looking good. It seems I will go back into the hospital for the next round of chemo beginning Wednesday of next week. I am waiting to speak to the transplant team to confirm that. We also need to make sure that my bone marrow looks okay after today’s test. This was actually the most painful test I have done yet. A resident walked into the room with my usual nurse practitioner who does the marrow test and I didn’t realize that this resident was actually going to do the test. She hardly numbed the area and next thing I know she is digging the needle into my back. I won’t go into detail but I can’t tell you how many times I repeatedly said, “it hurts!” and practically left bite marks in my arm from trying to not scream. Let’s just say she wasn’t very good at it. When the test was over, the regular nurse practitioner apologized to me and said, “unfortunately it’s a teaching hospital and we have to let the residents do these things to learn.” Well that’s the last time I will be a test case. I will be far more vocal in the future about who does what tests on me.

The transfusion went well and I’ve been told I will be feel far more energetic as a result of not being anemic anymore. I’m looking forward to it, but right now I’m completely wiped out from the day. Tomorrow, however, I am planning on surprising the kids with a trip to Dutch Wonderland so let’s hope those red cells do their things. It’s something I’ve wanted to do all summer because Ty loves it there and I’m hoping my body cooperates. I wanted to fit it in before going back to the hospital.

Last night I got to spend some time with the girls and my fevers kept at bay. It is really hard for me to do things at night but I never regret seeing my friends and spending time with them. The Ravens game is on tonight so I’m going to run and catch the end of that. I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted but I suppose I have good news to report. I was at the hospital yesterday and the results of my latest CT scan show that my infection is improving. There are spots on my liver that are comparably smaller than those seen on earlier scans. My fevers have also dropped slightly (knock-on-wood). It is nothing dramatic but I’m sleeping a little better through the night and lasting a little longer during the day (again, knock-on-wood!).

After seeing me, my oncologist said, “so we’re going to admit you Thursday to start chemo.” I was sort of dumb-founded and asked if I could at least have the weekend because Kieran’s 2nd birthday is Sunday. She said that was fine. So this Thursday I go in for another bone marrow biopsy, since it’s been over a month since the last one, and a red blood transfusion because I’m fairly anemic as a result of the infection. Next Monday I go back into the hospital for a week of chemo. As to how long I will be there, that will be played by ear as we see how my body responds to everything. I will continue on the fungal medication while doing chemo, so hopefully everything goes smoothly (please pray that it does). Once I come home, I will begin the process of getting ready for the bone marrow transplant. My doctor thinks I’ll be finished with things and getting close to resuming a normal life by Thanksgiving. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!?! I’m looking at Christmas as a more realistic and hopeful goal. The time frame really isn’t important to me – it’s that I get to remission with as few a complications as possible and am able to start rebuilding myself and my life.