Notes From Supergirl

My Diary from the Trenches

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy 37th!

December28

Today was a good day. As some of you heard (rather quickly from Facebook!), my biopsy results came back clear. I am in remission one year after my transplant and my chromosomes are normal. It was the greatest Christmas/New Years/Birthday gift I could have asked for and I am feeling immense relief and joy today as I savor in this news. I want to clarify that this does not necessarily mean that I am “cured” but simply that I am on a very good path right now. It will take a few years of remission before anyone would consider me cured. I do believe that day will come but for now I will enjoy every day for the gift that it is.

This is a huge period of transition for me. I will only have to go to the hospital once a month now and my life can really return to “normal.” I have many goals and dreams that I plan to focus on but I look at them in very different ways than I used to. With each aspiration, I consider what I really want to get out of each day. How do I want to feel when I go to sleep? Am I trying to accomplish something for the sake of accomplishment or does it really mean something to me or someone I care about? I know that one of my priorities is to find time to give back to others on this journey. In the past few weeks I have actually spoken to a couple of people who are either survivors or those just at the start of this process. The survivors inspire me and I want to inspire others to never give up. I want them to know it’s okay to question everything, feel like the universe has punched you in the face and want to roll into a ball and cry, but at the end of the day you must get up and fight. If you want to be here, you never give up.

I know it’s not nearly as easy as it sounds. I am heartbroken over the news that a friend of a friend of mine is in hospice in a terminal condition. I don’t have any doubt that she wanted to fight as hard as I did but wasn’t given the opportunity. When things like this happen, we wonder why? Why am I here? Why couldn’t she survive too? I don’t know why. But the only thing that I can take from this is that, as I always say, this horrible experience is a gift underneath the ugly surface. True or not, I choose to look at it that way because it motivates me to make something out of it. We all have bad things happen to us and we can either fall apart or use them to make us stronger, better people.

To completely shift course, I must thank Brian for buying me a Vitamix for Christmas! My green smoothies are about to get a lot smoother! I’ve been juicing almost daily for a couple of months now and I highly recommend it. I will admit that I may have turned my nose up to juicing a while ago but I do love how I feel after drinking my juices each day. I would like to think it’s also doing great things for my body. As speaking of great things, if anyone is looking for a terrific new cookbook featuring vegan/vegetarian food, I highly recommend Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Kitchen. I rave about Kris Carr all the time, but this cookbook is really terrific. I make recipes out of here almost daily and just add chicken or fish if I feel like it needs a little meat in it. The juices are great. Brian has even been making kale chips in the dehydrator!

As I close out this post, I just want to thank everyone who has loved, prayed for and supported me on this journey. There are big things to come and I wouldn’t be doing any of it had it not been for all of you helping to keep me afloat through the last 3 years. It has been a long road, but I believe it will have all been worth it in the end. For those just beginning their journey, look inside and you will find all that you need to beat this. Don’t be angry, be strong. Turn your fear into fight and trust that if there’s a will, there’s a way.

Happy new year! Bring on 2013!!!!

posted under Part 3 - The Allo-Transplant | Comments Off