I haven’t given up on blogging. I’m still here and kicking but my time has become severely limited as has the functioning of my computer. So at nearly midnight on a Sunday night, I finally have a minute and my iPad and I’m attempting to do an update. Things have been going well with my health. I actually had a week off from the hospital so I have nothing to report on with regards to my numbers. However, I have been dealing with some issues that I am eager to discuss with the doctor on Tuesday. My skin is a mess again. I don’t have the rash that I had in January, but I look like I have a bad sunburn and lots of rough, scaly skin on my face and neck as well as a few good bumps and splotches in various places. It could be GVHD or it could be a drug reaction. Either way I would love some relief from the itching and the dryness. I’m also dealing with some stomach issues that are a little bothersome. Again, this could be GVH. I know all of it is treatable so I am not panicking.

I wish I could say that I have been walking on water since receiving the good news on my last biopsy, but I haven’t been. The side effects of recovery, the isolation, the insanely slow growth of my hair and some big challenges with day to day life have made things feel pretty stressful. Part of the reason that I haven’t been blogging as much is because I have been really upset with myself for letting all of this get to me. I’m not stressing about cancer but I’ve been stressing about what impact it has had on my life and my family’s. I was at a place where I was at peace with all of this and in the last few weeks I have just really struggled. Some very dear friends have given me lots of guidance. I also watched an incredible video abut another cancer survivor who is in complete remission now and very much at peace with the perilous journey she went through. I will share more about that in another post. Additionally, I braved the Internet and did some research on GVHD which led me to a very comforting article about the emotional struggles that so many transplant patients in my situation go through. I was relieved to discover that they share many of the same things I am feeling. I think I need to find more of these people to connect with.

Despite how it may sound, I have not been sitting around being stressed for the last two weeks. I have been out and about quite a bit including bike rides with family, some shopping and a trip to DC to see the museums and the cherry blossoms. I also had a very nice date night with my husband and ate in a restaurant!

I have quite a few more updates I want to share but need to get to sleep. I’ll post more after my doctor’s visit this week. Take care everyone.