The good news is that I had my central line pulled out on Friday and did my first downward dog in over a month. My arm muscles supported me as I moved in and out of positions, which they didn’t do the last time I returned to yoga after having my PICC line removed. Overall, I’m hoping that my physical recovery should go more quickly this time around. But I’m still struggling with just not feeling well. I’m fighting a cold that has me feeling run down and is making it really difficult to sleep at night. And this acne/rash on my face has progressed rapidly from something that was barely noticeable to large blotches all over the front of my face, side of my face and along my neck. The baldness hasn’t bothered me this time. In fact, I’ve only worn the wig a handful of times. But this acne is taking a definite toll on my emotional state. I did some research and feel safe in concluding that it is in fact a side effect from one of the immune drugs, as I read about other people having this issue. What is scary to me is that I may be on this drug for months and in a matter of one week it has gotten considerably worse. It is scary to me to think what I could look like in another week, let alone 3 months. It is also incredibly frustrating because I had skin issues in my earlier years and after learning more about diet and skin care products, my skin had cleared up to the point that I was proud of it. My 13-year old self would have never believed that! Although this is all sounding incredibly vain, it’s less about the vanity and more about the fact that I can’t fix this in any way right now. I’ve tried different products, which have only made it worse, and my diet is already pretty clean and healthy. The only way to fix this is to go off of the medication and I can’t do that.

I can’t believe I just wrote an entire paragraph about acne. I know, you are probably all thinking that I am crazy. If that is the worst problem I have right now, god bless! And you are right and I agree!!! I just feel that our outside is a strong reflection of our inside and my outside looks ill and out of sorts right now. As far as my insides, I’m still having little issues that indicate to me that my platelets are struggling to come up and the ongoing cold is a sign that my white cells are being challenged. I’m not worried about any of it. I have faith that things will come to a balance. As I’ve said before, patience isn’t my greatest virtue and I have to find a way to make it so.

In the meantime I had a great night in with some girlfriends on Friday and I’m looking forward to the Ravens game today. I have many wonderful creative projects that have come to me recently and I plan to start focusing on those on Monday. My energy level has improved some and I feel ready to do something creative again to help refocus some of this negative energy I am focusing on my face!