So today was a bit of a let-down. My platelets dropped down to 40,000! I was a little stunned, but three doctors and a nurse reassured me that this is not unusual to see at this phase in the transplant process. They said that it could be from one of the immune suppressants that I am on and they reduced my dose on that to every other day. They also tested me for a ton of viruses, which could drop the platelet count as well. My white count went from 5 something to 3.1, but all of the differentials (the different parts of your white blood cells) were fine. There were no signs of abnormal cells and my neutrophil count is normal. I know that this is all par for the course and I will have these ups and downs. I was just so disappointed because I went in there really hoping to see my platelets get to 100,000 and I wasn’t expecting the drop at all. I will go back Saturday morning for another check. Fingers- and toes-crossed that they come back up!!!

I’m so eager to get that first test done that will show the percentage of donor cells. It is just so hard to wait to know what is happening inside my marrow and, unfortunately, this is a process that takes months. But a few months of struggling through this will be well worth it to cure me for good. I just have to keep focusing on the end goal and not let the little bumps turn into mountains of anxiety.

Other than that, I’m okay. So long as my platelets do come up, they will take the line out of my shoulder next week, which will be a huge relief. There is nothing like being bald and having tubes hanging out of you to make you feel like some alien being. I can deal with the baldness – in fact I care far less about it this time than I did last time – but the tubes are no fun.

My 36th birthday is Monday. This will be the third birthday I am celebrating while dealing with all of this; the second one I will be celebrating bald. The only thing I want is for all of this to go in a positive direction. No matter how positive I am, I can’t help but feel that the last two years of my life have been pretty brutal. I’m asking the universe for a break now. I’ve learned lots of lessons, I’ve come to peace with many things, I have grown as a person and I promise to make great things come of this experience. So Dear Universe, loads and loads of healthy blood cells on Saturday morning would be an awesome b-day gift! Thanks, Supergirl