I had a pretty quiet, almost relaxing day today. My white count is close to the bottom and the doctor informed me that it may not completely bottom out, or if it does it may not be for very long. Because I had low-dose chemo, there will probably be overlap between the old cells leaving and the new cells starting to grow. So the “bottom” period that I have experienced in the past may go more quickly and smoothly (let’s hope!). He said that I didn’t need to sit around waiting for something bad to happen – that they expect things to go smoothly but are here to monitor any issues. He also said that many hospitals do this as an out-patient procedure. I was shocked by that. But my friend Sheryl came to visit today and she confirmed that that is how they do things at Hopkins. Sheryl and I met through the cancer center. We are both young moms going through a very similar experience so we can relate in a way that so few can. It was great to see her and I can’t wait until she and I can spend more time together on the “outside” than we do on the inside of this place!

My head seems to be improving a little. I suppose my body is adjusting to the medications. My heart rate is way up, but not dangerously so. It’s just ironic considering that a few days ago they were monitoring me constantly because my heart rate was so low. Also going the opposite direction is my weight. The fluids are gone and my stomach “function” is returning to normal. I’m desperately hoping to avoid any gory details in that department. My mouth is a little sore, which is also normal for the low counts. You can develop mouth sores because your salivary glands don’t work as well until the counts start to come back up. I’ve managed to avoid most of that in the past, although I know of people that couldn’t eat for days at a time because they ended up with such a bad case of this.

Talking with the doctor this morning helped a lot as far as I’ve been feeling. I’ve been trying to meditate my way out of any side effects, which is my attempt to control the somewhat uncontrollable. It sounds like I can relax a little.