I have reached that point that’s full of ups and downs and I’m trying to remain level-headed and somewhat unemotional about the whole thing. Basically, all of my platelet transfusions have been unsuccessful. However, this morning my platelets came up on their own from 2,000 to 4,000. My doctor came in and literally gave me a fist bump over it and was practically jumping up and down. And again, he said he thinks I’m going home by the end of the week and the only reason I’m still here is because of my platelet count. So with a sign that my platelets may actually be producing on their own, it seems like reason to feel relieved and look forward to getting out of here. However, they decided to try ANOTHER transfusion today thinking my body would now respond to it and, of course, it ended up dropping my count down to 3,000. I’m trying not to be disappointed about it but after a day of 3 doctors telling me “you’re going to be out of here by the end of the week,” it’s hard not to feel a little deflated. I’m still hopeful my platelets will continue to come up on their own but it’s challenging.

I’m not depressed or having a melt down over this – I swear! I’m just so used to the good news/bad news thing that I’m trying to just take it day by day and not get too excited over anything until I actually get to go home. I think what is making it hard is that my oldest son keeps asking me if I’ll be home by Halloween and I can’t give him an answer. In the past he hasn’t cared much about specific days for my return, but this time it really matters to him. The thought of disappointing him just breaks my heart. I have confirmed that they will discharge me on the weekend so I still have 4 days to make this happen. Please send me all of the positive platelet energy you can!!!

Everything else is looking good and feeling better. I’ve had a lot of visitors over the last two days including Brian from Ulman Fund, Holly who introduced me to yet another of Amy’s frozen foods I may end up addicted to, Roseann and Trish, my dad and husband Brian. Oh, and Heather sent me an awesome package of pumpkin pie flavored candy corns! I may rot my teeth out here but at least I’ll go home cancer free