I didn’t realize I had skipped writing for so many days. That’s a good thing, obviously, because it means I’ve been busy enjoying my life or have been too exhausted to say anything meaningful by 8 pm. Things are going well at home. My anxiety has calmed dramatically though I’m still curious to get to the hospital tomorrow and see where all of my blood counts are. I am going for a platelet transfusion and I suspect they are pretty low by now. Maybe I’ll get lucky and it will turn out my body has started to produce more on its own but I’m being extra careful all the same. I also go back Thursday for some more tests in preparation for the bone marrow transplant. Quite a few people have asked me when I will actually go in for the transplant. The short answer is that I don’t know yet but anticipate it being the second to third week of October. I will have to do another bone marrow biopsy first and this won’t be scheduled until my platelets are at 100,000. This could be as early as next week or it may take some time. According to the protocol I am on, I will go in for transplant 2-4 weeks following the biopsy. At this rate, I will probably will end up being home for a total of 3-4 weeks before being re-admitted.

I truly am savoring every minute of my time at home. In between the mundane (but currently very appreciated) day to day tasks, I have been doing lots of baking, cooking and reorganizing. I’m setting up a space for Ty to do art, I made Kieran’s room more “2-year old friendly” and I am plowing through new recipes. Of course I am also soaking up every hug, laugh and cry from the kids. Being here to comfort them when they wake in the middle of the night or pick them up from school is all of the healing power I need. I don’t think I ever realized how much being a mother meant to me. I can see now that it means almost everything. There are a million things I want to do for myself on the other side of this but I am grateful for having my family to pull me through right now.

Before I go, I want to thank all of the people who have been sending me comments recently. It’s funny to think I am inspiring anyone when there are days I have to literally talk myself through this. I appreciate all of you saying that. I also want to thank Kim for the suggestion of turning this blog into a book one day. That has certainly crossed my mind. I even had a fantasy of sitting on Oprah’s couch talking about it, but darn it, Oprah had to go and end her show! Oh well, there’s always Good Morning America?!?! In all seriousness, if I’m making a difference in anyone else’s life besides my own while I go through this or beyond, then that is only more for me to be grateful for and certainly part of a beautiful gift in this really ugly package.