Notes From Supergirl

My Diary from the Trenches

Day 108

September16

Today was a long, but good day. I had to go back to the hospital for a routine follow up appointment with my doctor and I ended up waiting 4 hours! The appointment went well. I go back next week for blood checks and a few more tests in preparation for the bone marrow transplant. Coming home to the kids after the day was simply awesome.

I’m definitely struggling with anxiety over getting sick or running fevers again. Everything is normal right now but I must have washed and sanitized my hands about 1,000 times today. I couldn’t fall asleep last night because I was so wound up. Tonight I hope to get a good night’s rest and am looking forward to NOT being at the hospital tomorrow for the first time in over a month – knocking-on-wood that I have no reason to go. I actually plan to do the simple things tomorrow like grocery shopping, a little exercise, dishes and laundry. It may sound strange but when the routine, day-to-day things are taken away from you, there is nothing more comforting than getting them back.

I feel like I have a timer ticking down and I’m trying to savor every minute of every day before it slips away. Part of it is knowing I have to go back to the hospital, part of it is fear of what the future holds. In any case, when you go through some of the things I’ve been through and what’s ahead, everything else seems so easy. Things that would have bothered me months ago like a kid drawing on the wall or traffic or even financial issues mean nothing to me now. I am beginning to more clearly see the “gift” that comes with this type of journey. When you put aside the anxiety, there is a level of peace about my life that I don’t know I would have ever been capable of achieving before this. I would never wish this on anyone, but I hope that if I can inspire any of you to do anything, it is to stop when you are stressed and it feels like you will lose your mind, take a deep breath and remember how lucky we are to have the things we do. In the end, so many of the things we stress about mean so little.

posted under The Daily Record
6 Comments to

“Day 108”

  1. Avatar September 16th, 2010 at 9:53 pm Heather Says:

    Thanks for reminding me about the important things. (In fact, you’ve been reminding me since June 1st.) My work can wait until tomorrow. Let me go find that husband of mine. You are awesome, Supergirl. Awesome.


  2. Avatar September 17th, 2010 at 10:20 am amy Says:

    Stop making me cry at work! Seriously, I’m so happy to hear that you’re home and well and able to enjoy the simple bliss of your daily life :)


  3. Avatar September 17th, 2010 at 10:30 am Robyn Says:

    Do you ever get tired of hearing how inspirational you are? I just have to echo that sentiment! I am sitting here (at my office) annoyed because someone I made a special trip in for, hasn’t shown up…but in the big picture–it really doesn’t matter. I am going to embrace the time that I have to catch up on little things here and consider it time I didn’t realize I had…like a
    gift :-)


  4. Avatar September 17th, 2010 at 10:39 pm Kim Says:

    So you realize that this will all make it into a book one day, right? (Why only inspire the small village that has followed your journey – you should inspire the masses one day with your story…) Anyhow, I can definitely see this excerpt on the back of that book where it explains what the whole story is about and how it will move you… You are amazing and I am so glad that things seem to be going better for you now… Keep fighting and reminding all of us what is really important. XOXO


  5. Avatar September 18th, 2010 at 5:40 pm Elaine Hartnett Says:

    Jessica: I have read every day of your blog and marvel continuously at your couraage and determination to resume your life!! You are an inspiration to so many while you fight this battle. Although I do not write, I think of you every day and keep Jennifer and Eric updated on your progress. You are in our prayers, and the prayers and thoughts of many in my family and among my friends who, even though they do not know you directly, cheer your courage and determination. Keep up the good work!!! There are many of your fans waiting to hear that you have beaten this disease.


  6. Avatar September 19th, 2010 at 3:03 pm Adele Says:

    And I would like to point out that Magic Eraser takes the writing off the walls. :) I kid you not! Jess, I am glad that you are home enjoying this beautiful weather! You truly are inspiring!