Notes From Supergirl

My Diary from the Trenches

Day 98

September6

Well, its been 98 days since I started this process. I’m wondering if my body is waiting for day 100 to send me home. Wouldn’t that be ironic?

My white counts were still down today but tomorrow is a new day and anything is possible. Although I am in a good place with all of this, having my counts go up – even if I don’t go home yet – would be a real thrill. And when I say thrill, I mean it. I would literally be bouncing off the walls if they would start to go up. Waiting and waiting and waiting is just torture. Patience is not a virtue I was not born with and learning to have it is hard, darn it!

All of that said, I had a pretty great day today. I got a huge surprise when Amanda came to visit this afternoon. It was so good to see her and talk. My dad brought be lunch and then I roped my brother and Steph into bringing me dinner. Somehow I’ve managed to avoid hospital food for quite a few days now. It’s a good thing though because the last time they weighed me I had put on 3 pounds! Just 8 more to go and I’ll be back to my normal weight. Unfortunately it’s all sitting in my belly right now and hasn’t spread out yet. I know once I get back to building some muscle it will help. Having the extra roll in the belly is also a good thing because that’s where the neupogen shots go. I’m on my 4th day of those now and I still don’t like them. Some things never get easier but I guess you get used to them.

I also got to talk to Dan, an AML survivor today. Dan finished his stem cell transplant and went home the day after I came into the hospital to start my first chemo in June. He is doing great now. We’ve talked several times over email, but it was really helpful to speak over the phone today. He did the exact same protocol that I am following so it was very interesting to hear about his experience. No two people will ever have the same experience, but I can only hope to recover as quickly as Dan did. I believe in my heart that I will but I have quite a road ahead of me. Thank you Dan, as always, for the inspiration and being so open in sharing your journey with me.

I heard a great quote from a cancer survivor today. She is a uterine cancer survivor, several years out, and she was talking about how no one ever wants to get cancer and she would never say she was grateful for having it, but ultimately it changed her life in a positive way. Her quote was, “sometimes the best gifts come in the ugliest packages.” I hope that I will feel that way when I have recovered from all of this.

The weather was beautiful today and I hope everyone got out and enjoyed the last day of summer. Some of us (and you know who you are ;) ) couldn’t be happier that this summer is over. Here’s to having faith that the change in seasons means wonderful changes for all of us!

One Comment to

“Day 98”

  1. Avatar September 6th, 2010 at 8:47 pm melly Says:

    Jess, I truly admire your ability to weather the ups and downs, to look ahead and move ahead. You WILL be home in just a few days, I know it. I’m looking forward to cheering with you at the soccer game Saturday!