I’m sorry for the lack of writing on my part. I kept hoping I would have some news to share, but instead I am still sitting in this hospital room waiting for culture results to come back and fevers to drop and hoping that at some point I will be allowed to come home. The good news is the medication they have me on virtually eliminated all of the pain. However, there were two other antibiotics that they took me off of and they are concerned to that one of those may be been reducing the fevers as well. In the last few days my fevers have been trending up, not down. I am very frustrated. One day they tell me I can go home tomorrow, the next day a different doctor says “no, maybe in a few days.” When I’m not running fevers I feel great. But right now I feel completely trapped. I hate the smell of everything in my room, from the towels and linens, to the toilet. I don’t like the taste of the water. And I really don’t like the food, which is making it difficult to put on 10 pounds. When I first got here I was excited to see all of my nurses and I was actually enthusiastic about then fixing up this problem once and for all. But now I’ve been here for over a week and I miss my children terribly and just want to go home and play with them.

I know they are missing me – I can tell when I talk to them on the phone. I wish there was a way I could explain this that wasn’t so scary but the older one seems to be handing the lack of details well and the younger one doesn’t really need an explanation- he just needs to see my face or hear my voice once in a while to know Mommy’s still here. All in all, I hope none of my mommy friends have to go through this. Not being able to see you kids is the worst, most gut-wrenching feeling in the world. But it this case, I’m doing it so that mommy will be here for the long-haul and that’s the most important thing.

I’m going to go lace up and see how much exercise I can get. Wish me luck! I’ll be back when I have more details about what they’re doing with me.