Day 27
I’m still here, though my bags are packed and ready to go at any time. I’m still running fevers and they just plain suck. Last night I woke up with 104. I’m able to get them down quickly but it’s this constant cycle of anxiety waiting for the fever to come on, waiting until it’s high enough to take something and then breaking out in cold sweats as it comes down. I decided to give myself through the end of today and I will call the doctor tomorrow morning to confirm that these are all still par for the course with the infection. I realize she may admit me for a day or so, but at this point, if it would get rid of the fevers, I would be happy to do anything.
For the most part I am trying to ignore them. I’m spending as much time with the boys as possible. Kieran has changed so much in 3 short weeks and I’m soaking up all of his new language skills. I also wrapped my picc line up in plastic wrap today and made my way into the pool with Ty and Brian. It was good to float around and get some exercise.
One of the hardest things for me has been the fact that I lost so much weight at the hospital – mostly muscle tone I think. But I look frail and I hate that. I’m an athlete and I feel like I look like a sick person now, nevermind the shaved head. I’ve been trying to eat as much as my stomach will allow and hoping the fevers subside soon enough for me to get some exercise. I did a little yoga last night but the picc line hanging from my arm poses interesting challenges.
My mother-in-law has been here to help with the boys and clean and I so grateful for that. My father brought dinner last night. I’m feeling well taken care of.
I also need to thank my Aunt Martha for sending me the most awesome Supergirl baseball cap. I will snap a picture in the next few days for sure.
I am so happy your home and able to enjoy your family! We pray for you daily and hope you will be back to your ol self soon!
Aunt Martha beat me to it! I had the greatest supergirl hat in my shopping cart on zazzle.com and something went wrong with the order, and I haven’t gotten a chance to go back and redo it… Oh well, as long as you got one that is all that matters
And don’t worry about looking frail – we all can see from your strength in getting thru all of this that you are anything but that.
Jess -
It is too bad you are still having to cope with the fevers. After all you have gone through, we read the blog and our first reaction is “great, she’s doing good except for that one thing” but then you think about the last time you had the flu and how it’s the fever that knocks you flat on your back and keeps you from thinking straight and makes you feel like you are living in some parallel hell universe and when the fever finally breaks you still have all the other symptoms but by comparison you feel great because that damn fever is gone. The worst part is that when you have a fever like that, each hour seems like six, and you wonder if you will ever feel good again. It can’t be helping you much that it’s been like a blast furnace outside the last couple of days.
Anyway, I really really hope you get some sustained relief soon. You deserve some genuinely good days.
Chip
You just hang in there. I know how frustrating it is not feeling like your athletic self. I also lost 20 lbs. during transplant….that I really couldn’t spare. Now, after getting back to cycling….I too believe that I lost a bit of muscle mass. I am learning, and you will too, to be greatful for all of the small steps that we are able to take despite the set-backs. Chemo is a big deal…..and it can make us look sick……I’ve been given the nickname smeagol because of it. But it too shall pass in time.
Good Day,