Day 20, By Jess
The last two days have been the most miserable I have ever experienced. As I’ve talked about before, I developed an infection in my colon as a side effect of the chemo. The infection itself has caused an incredible amount of pain which they treat with morphine. When I started running low grade fevers last week, they said that is was probably just because of the infection. By Saturday morning, the fevers were getting higher and it was mixed in with them giving me premeds for platelet transfusions. They would give me Tylenol and Benedryl and all kinds of things through IV then start the platelets, at which point I would start running a fever or have a reaction to the platelets, like severe shakes. By last evening, my fevers were running over 105. The decided that I was having a “drug fever” which is when your body starts to reject the antibiotic. After what seemed and unbearable wait while I felt my body burning up, they finally got me under a cooling blanket. This is a plastic blanket that fills with water regulated to 80 degrees. It keeps my fever from going up and if I am able to remain comfortable under it for a long enough time, it brings my fever down. Tonight I have gotten the fever down to 100.3.
Hopefully the fevers will remain manageable and eventually go away altogether when the medicine is entirely out of my system. That just leaves the stomach infection. If you were to look at my stomach right now, I actually look like I am 2-3 months pregnant because my colon is so swollen and inflamed that it is bulging towards the front of my abdomen. The pain part is manageable with the morphine but the other huge issue is that this is causing such bad bathroom problems that I have actually opted to wear adult diapers until we work this out. I share this because it is actually hilarious to see what I look like in an adult diaper. At least I’m laughing about it! Yesterday they told me just to try to eat what I wanted and see how it went. Today I asked to be given IV fluids and we all agreed it was best for me not to eat anything.
Nothing that has happened to me is particularly unusual for someone in my situation. I’m sure that people have suffered with other side-effects that I was fortunate enough not to get. And the doctors keep reminding me that once my white cells start regenerate and climb, which should be by tomorrow, things will start to improve quickly. That is what I need to focus on right now because that is what is going to get me home.
Sending you good, fever free thoughts for today. Glad to see you are still staying positive and allowing your body its healing process. Thinking of you and your family often. Glad to see the gory details made it to the front page
Hi Jess -
You must be as tough as nails to be going through all that and to still have a sense of humor about it. I hope you get some relief from the pain and fever today.
I noticed that there have been fewer comments the last several days which is curious because I know you have more readers now I think that might be because few if any of us have ever gone through anything as difficult as what you are. Many of the earlier comments related to people’s personal experiences, or those of loved ones. You are now dealing with a set of maladies so hellish that we can hardlly imagine your pain, much less relate to. So it’s hard to know what to say, I guess. You read that blog and it kicks you hard in the gut to think about what it must be like for you. It’s such a poignant feeling that it’s almost impossible to put into words.
Anyway, stay strong despite the obstacles. You are one tough lady.
Chip
Chip said it perfectly, my friend. You go Supergirl! I’ve got your hand till the end.
I’m wishing you clean diapers and smooth sailing! I’m around all day–trying to finish (right after I start) a report due Wednesday). I would love an excuse to take a break (sometime after I start). I put down that I would visit on Thursday if you’re up for it. A week away from Supergirl and I’m REALLY missing you!!! Megan (the bead lady) said that she is flexible–she’s ordering a bunch of the Supergirl and Pink Ribbon charms and she can set up a party whenever it works for you. Either we’ll come to you or we can go to the store.
P.S.–I pray that Paul has no personal stories to relate and I apologize in advance for whatever travails or random thoughts he chooses to share…he won’t be home til 4 so you have time to prepare yourself
Jess – this is going to sound super corny, but I learned a song a while back at a seminar for body cleansing (which is kind of what you are doing right now, just in a different way…who needs a colonic when you’re going thru what you are) Sing it to yourself and get it in your subconscious mind so those white cells will rise to the skies:
Every little cell in my body is hap-py,
Every little cell in my body is well.
Every little cell in my body is hap-py,
Every little cell in my body is well.
Every litte cell
in my body
Every little cell in my body is well.
Do this, while visualizing the numbers you are looking for, and you’ll be out of those diapers and cooling blankets and going home soon!!!!
Jess, your cells at their bottom (no pun intended), and so is your body. Your body is rebelling physically, yet your mental strength is going to keep it all in line, and your body is going to start complying soon. You are doing such a great job keeping some perspective and humor mixed with reality! M
I’d like to see a photo of you in a diaper, please.
I’d like to see the diaper photo too. ha ha ha
Hang in there Jess!
Fever free thoughts coming your way today.
And much love!
See you soon,
Julie
Girl—you are going to have so many stories to include in your book—can’t wait to read it!!
Randomly, I was just looking on AOL and there was this article on their home page: http://www.aisledash.com/2010/06/17/bridal-diapers-wedding-dress/?flv=1
So don’t feel bad – apparently you are just participating in a trend happening amongst brides out there nowadays!!
Thinking about coming for a visit – stop
Hope you’re feeling better – stop
So proud to know you – stop
Sending you lots of love – stop
I hear you’re wearing diapers – STOP!
Whew, I know how much self-restraint that must have taken Paul. good job…
Just a friendly word of advice…don’t let them take ANY pictures. You never know when Robyn will make a poster of it, “doctor it up”, then take it where hundreds of people will see it daily. Hang in there Jess, you amaze me more and more each day!
Everyone has said it all… one more person here sending good, healing vibes!!!
Kim – That’s hiLARious!
Jess – On the upside, you are gonna have one awesome costume for Halloween this year.