Okay, warning, this post may be a little negative but I have been pondering something all morning and felt compelled to write about it. I was making breakfast for my family and, as usual, I had a bowl of healthy, high protein, high fiber, all natural cereal and I was thinking about the breakfast that another member of my family would probably have. He will prepare a breakfast sandwich with processed, high-fat meat made from unidentifiable animal parts topped with a greasy egg, cheese and a buttered muffin. Honestly, I’m fine with the fact that he will eat that and I have no desire to eat it myself, but I was thinking about how normal his body is compared to mine and how long he will probably live. It led me down a long spiral thinking about all of the people I have met throughout the past year who have been diagnosed with cancer or other diseases and how every one of them (all young adults) are all the epitome of health. They were all avid exercisers and healthy eaters, young and active. Yet they were the ones struck by cancer. I have yet to see one young person in the cancer center who is obese or looks like someone who spends too much time at McDonalds and not enough time on the treadmill. Maybe it is a result of seeking out others like me to try to relate to, but when I think about all of the people in my life it seems a little too coincidental that the people who have been afflicted by cancer or disease are the healthiest people I know. A good friend of mine has been struggling for two years to find a diagnosis for what may turn out to be an autoimmune issue. She, like me, has always exercised, doesn’t use toxins in her home and eats organic food. My mother was active and ate a healthy diet and didn’t have much stress going on in her life. However, I have friends and relatives who have smoked their whole lives, eaten foods drenched in fats and oils, hardly exercised and even indulged in more than their fair share of drugs and alcohol. Yes, running a 5K might give them a heart attack but so long as they continue to sit on the couch, they will probably live there comfortably well into their senior years.

I guess what I’m wondering is if this is simply all genetic and those of us who are born with a flaw will have to spend our lives fighting to stay alive in lieu of an error in our biology. And, in the end, does none of what we do matter except what science discovers in due time to ultimately fix our genes? Or, is there something about our quest to be healthy that makes our body a better host for disease? Perhaps the poisons that others are indulging in are actually protecting them having the bad cells grow there? If you were cancer, would you rather live in a stable environment in which you could flourish or a toxic dump in which new materials are constantly added that may or may not work against you? And what about obesity? Maybe having low body-fat is actually a bad thing? Maybe it makes us more susceptible? Think about Lance Armstrong and then think about all of the out-of-shape, obese people in Hollywood (Marlon Brando, for one) who were just fine.

I’m not trying to be a downer or suggest that I’m giving up hope. I’m just pondering these things. I will most likely run a 5-K in August and another 6 miles in October because a) it feels good; and b) I’m trying to prove that I will not let cancer take me down. There are thousands of us who walk and run and bike and swim each year in races all across the country in order to prove these things. We will also eat our insanely healthy diets, meditate and do all of the other things that make us feel we are somehow keeping the cells in our body in their best condition. And sadly, I now look at so many of the people who do this with us as prime candidates for cancer themselves, where I see the people savoring their bacon, their beer and their couch as the ones that will outlive us. This is why I’ll never tell anyone to become a vegetarian or take up running. I will tell you take up yoga because of the impact it has had on my life for the past ten years, but as for the others, they work for me but they obviously haven’t kept me healthy.

In other news, my biopsy went as well as one could go on Thursday. I will have the results on Monday, along with starting round 4 of the trial. Today, I’m off to run to prep for my races. I’ll feel better, stronger and more accomplished when I get home and I guess that’s the best that I can hope for.